Rhonny Reaper's Top 5 WORST Films of 2009

*WARNING: I may use a lot of bad words....ok I DO use a lot of bad words so If you got virgin eyes...what the hell am I saying, proceed.*


#5 Friday the 13th (remake of Friday the 13th)
A group of young adults discover a boarded up Camp Crystal Lake, where they soon encounter Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.
Ok. Remakes are great when your trying to make a bad movie better (take The Fly for example. I loved the version with Jeff Goldblum) but when it comes to Horror Classics, such as Friday the 13th, LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE! I mean Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Soon Freddy!?! Christ sakes please just STOP! How about coming up with a original idea and stop screwing up everyone else's!


#4 The Uninvited (remake of A Tale of Two Sisters)
Anna Rydell returns home to her sister (and best friend) Alex after a stint in a mental hospital, though her recovery is jeopardized thanks to her cruel stepmother, aloof father, and the presence of a ghost in their home.
Ok this one makes me the most angry, cause I ADORE the original Korean film. This one is all bout less...Less acting, Less blood, Less Horror! I mean Asian horror films have at atmosphere that just screams "Holy Shit get me outta here!" This remake screams "Holy Shit get me outta this theater!" Along with stopping the remakes of classic horror films, we should stop remaking great Asian horror as well (ex: The Ring, The Grudge, The Eye...STOP IT!)


#3 Sorority Row (remake of House on Sorority Row)
A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.
Hey, it's another Remake! Now see this is a film that should be remade...except they fucked it up. The reason? They made this a generic horror film! The acting was bad, there was too many typical scary movie tactics used to anything to works, and tell me one memorable moment from this movie that you an take with you....I'll wait....


#2 The Stepfather (remake of The Stepfather)
Michael returns home from military school to find his mother happily in love and living with her new boyfriend. As the two men get to know each other, he becomes more and more suspicious of the man.
Yet Another fucking remake (are you seeing a trend?) and again this wasn't a big classic so I could see why it was remade...but again they can't stop fucking shit up! Look there's nothing wrong with retelling a old story, but telling a story again in the same way as I've seen it a million times before...come on now, I know we an do better (ex: The Blob from 1988, a fun and good retelling)!


#1 The Unborn
A girl finds out she had a twin that died in utero because her umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck in the womb and strangled him, and she didn't become aware of it until decades later when his evil spirit decided that he was ready to be born now.
Hell I don't even know where to I begin here...Maybe with the 'oh we can't afford Megan Fox so lets get an exact replica who acts even worse than she does', or maybe the use of every horror movie cliché EVER, or maybe the horrible story thats so unbelievable, the Balloon Boy's Dad is even thinking WTF? Or maybe...you know what Ima stop here cause I could go on forever.

Dollar Bin Film - "Invisible Ghost"

The town's leading citizen becomes a homicidal maniac after his wife deserts him.
A lot of this film is pretty unbelievable, like the fact that his wife, who left him and was presumably killed in a car crash, secretly lives in the gardener's shed, thinking she's dead because of brain damage from the crash, but she's not...yeah I'm as confused as you are. But the bizarre, ghostly atmosphere, a lot of great camera work for the time, and Bela Lugosi's wonderful performance redeems the film, making it an enjoyable watch.
Sending Deadly Kisses,
Rhonny Reaper
P.S. if you REALLY broke, This film has fallen into the public domain and can be freely downloaded from http://archive.org/details/TheInvisibleGhost

Dollar Bin Horror Spotlight - Raym C. Hensley

Raym C. Hensley is an Author from Hawaii who wrote the ever so fun to read Zombie Hunter's Bible. This book it just a good time rolled into 216 pages. It even has a chapter on Zombie sex and recipes for cooking Zombie meat (you can substitute hamburger if your laking that)! This book was an enjoyable read and yall should check it out. This time around, Raym Hensley is i the Dollar Bin Horror Spotlight!

Q:Where did the idea for a Zombie Hunter's Bible come from?

A: From reading the greatest zombie survival guide in the world! The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks--Mel Brooks' son, no less. I remember hearing that it was humorous, and I was thrilled to finally read a comedy about zombies. I am a BIG fan of the Evil Dead series and Return of The Living Dead (just the 1st RoTLD). Max's book was solid all the way through--if zombies ever do plague the earth (and I think we all know they will...maybe around 2012 for some reason) his book IS the go-to book! Actually, you could substitute zombies with Nazis or Robots or Zombie Nazi Robots and you could still survive with his book. That's how good it is. So good, in fact, that it inspired a whole slew of fictional How-To books. But, aside from the hilarious fact that such a book existed, I didn't find reading it funny, not the content. It is a manual, and that's exactly how it reads. And I don't know about humans, but I don't find reading manuals fun--I don't care if it is about zombies or Zombie Nazi Robots. I was expecting a laugh-out-loud funny book...maybe even something along the lines of Monty Python. As those crazy Brits say (does John Cleese impression), "...and now for something completely different." That didn't happen, so I decided to write my own.


Q: Not only did you write the book, but you made a very funny commercial/short film to go with it. Could you tell the readers about the process? and Where a people watch it?

A: Maybe I'm getting old, but remember those old commercials for Stephen King's books? I always wanted to make one of those. They were so well done--and all for a book! It was like watching a movie commercial. It looked like fun, so I gave it a shot. If you'd like to watch it, you can go here---> http://zombiehuntersbible.blogspot.com/


Q: What other projects are you currently working on?

A: There's a monster load of stuff--from an illustrated book about pregnancy to furniture making--but to cut it short, I have a cartoon called Boss Hospital that's my passion now, allowing me to do everything I want to do, my way. I enjoy making my own decisions and whatnot. I love working on this beast. I put eight hours into it everyday. If people want to see a cartoon that's rather different from the norm, more Monty Python inspired, Boss Hospital is the place to go. It's a business, really. People should start a business doing what they love. Why not try?


Q: Where can people learn more about the book, yourself, and your other works in progress?

A: You can learn more about the book at http://zombiehuntersbible.blogspot.com. I have the obligatory MySpace page at myspace.com/doctorraym. Boss Hospital is over at http://www.bosshospital.com. Thanks again for this interview, Rhonny. It was fun! Best of luck to you in the new year! Mahalo. Ray.

Dollar Bin Film - "The Monster Club"

A writer of horror stories is invited to a "monster club" by a mysterious old gentleman. There, three gruesome stories are told to him; between each story some musicians play their songs. In the end, it's recognized he's the greatest monster of all ...
I don't just like this movie, I adore it. It's a campy little horror/comedy from the 80's starring the legendary Vincent Price and John Carradine. The three stories are pretty good, and the music between each one is just fun (there's even and undead silhouette strip tease!) And if you get the VHS version hosted by the lovely Elvira, it makes it all come together perfectly. I invite all of you to watch this and become honorary members of the Monster Club (I wish this place was real, it would kick so much ass!)
Sending Deadly Kisses,
Rhonny Reaper

Dollar Bin Horror News: What's Coming Soon

I thought I'd take a little break from the films and books to let yall know what new posts will be coming soon to DBH.

• Sometime next week I'll be posting my top 5 worst and best films of 2009. Probably in 2 separate posts (one would be too long)
• As soon as I finish reading it, I'll be posting a review of Lily Strange's "Eternal Death". She currently working on rewriting it, so I have the pre-revised edition (which so far is great, so I'm sure the final version will be better.) Once she has finished the revisions, I'll also review it, and hopefully have an interview with Lily. Read more about it at http://www.lilystrange.com/
  
• Another new review and interview coming soon is "The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak" by Etienne DeForest. I should be getting this in the mail pretty soon, but let me tell you the artwork for the book posted on his Zombiefriends page makes me wanna read this one bad. Check out more about it at http://www.nxebooks.com/
• Also, this February is Women in Horror Month, and in honor of it, I'm posting "Cyber Scream Queen of the Day" posts all throughout the month (they are all female horror bloggers or websites). If you want to be one of them, visit my old post about it, listen to the voice message and just leave a comment with your name, a link to your blog, and your email. I sent emails out to a lot of female horror bloggers and sites. If you got an email and want to participate, just reply. If you did not get an email, I couldn't find your email on your site but would love to include you! Just comment! If I don't have enough to fill a whole month, I'll post one like every other day, It'll all work out :)
• ***EDIT***: JUST got conformation of another interview with Ryam Hensley for his book, The Zombie Hunters Bible so look for that too!

P.S. If you want me to review your horror themed book, film, whatever, or want me to interview you about your horror themed project, just email me at RhonnyReaper@yahoo.com.















Sending Deadly Kisses,
Rhonny Reaper

Dollar Bin Book - "Gerald's Game" by Stephen King

A woman accidentally kills her husband while she is handcuffed to the bed as part of a bondage game, and, following the realization that she is trapped with little hope of rescue, begins to let the voices inside her head take over.
I got this book for a quarter at a garage sale and it has become my favorite Stephen King book of all time. If you don't like graphic images, don't read this book; It will disturb the shit outta you! The situation the main character is in is bad enough, then when you learn about what happened to her in her past...yeah you just gotta read this book, end of story.
Sending Deadly Kisses,
Rhonny Reaper

Dollar Bin Film - "The Mangler"

A laundry folding machine is possessed by a demon from Hell.
I found this movie on VHS at a exchange store for $2 (ok more than a buck, but still a good deal). This one stars Robert Englund, was Directed by Tobe Hooper, and was based on a story by Stephen King...sounds like it would be amazing right? Well everyone I know who has seen this movie told me it sucks, and they're all right, but it's sooo good at being bad that I LOVED it! Everything in this movie was over the top, the acting, the visuals, the amount of steam used, hell even the story itself (although I love the original short story, how the hell could anyone think it was a cool idea for a feature length film?)! But somehow, this bad film made me feel so good when I watched! Strange huh? If you watch this film without thinking to much about serious horror, and just relax and have a good ole time, I think you'll love it too.