Sunday, March 21, 2010

Dollar Bin Horror Spotlight - Stiff Jobs and Cockhammer (Double Screener Review)

These two films are being reviewed together for 2 reasons, 1. I feel the same way about both and 2. the stories are intertwined and they should be watched one after another to complete the story.

Stiff Jobs is the story of two of the most ruthless hitmen in all of Strangeville, Wolfram and Windgate. What was to be a routine hit on a well to do gay pedophile with inclinations toward fat cuban boys, turns into murder, mayhem and all the perverted sexual nonsense Hack Movies is known for when our heroes get themselves cunt deep in supernatural jizm, and come face to face with the forces of darkness!

This movies stars off with a kick ass opening scene, the two main characters in the middle of a hit. It's the kind of scene that grabs you and keeps you wanting to watch more. My main issue was in the middle. Now we all know Hack films have a shit ton of sex in them, but here I thought it took away from the great plot and buildup in the film. Think of it as a mix between Pulp Fiction and Two Girls One Cup. There were great scenes between Wolfram and Windgate that reminded me of the two in Pulp fiction....but then there were scenes of sex with the girl shitting on the dude....a little too much for me. But then the film takes a complete turn for the awesome when we are introduced to the true villain, Cockhammer. The end of this film is just damn good! It definitely made me ready for the next film....

CockHammer is the story of Terrence and Perander, two pill popping swinger losers who's girlfriends are mysteriously kidnapped by CockHammer, a snuff porn kingpin and occult sorcerer bent on unlocking the secrets of the dreaded black mage diary! Will Terrence and Perander figure out his heinous intentions and rescue their bitches in time to get their assholes fucked, or will the girls become the latest victims in CockHammer's elaborate plot to become a demigod?!

Again, a strong opening scene. Cockhammer has a victim and is trying to ascend to a higher level by offering her as a sacrifice...with a bit of cool gore. And again it's the middle that takes away from the great plot, but not as much as Stiff Jobs. This time, for me, there was just too much talking. I wanted more action after that strong scene, but was left with more talk about drugs and strange sex with things being stuck up the wrong hole. I would have loved to see the film go straight into some great action, like Dead Shit did, and have less filler talk. But again this film overcomes all these problems with the coolest ending of all the Hack Films. Cockhammer is interrupted in his ascension and is turned into an awesomely hideous beast, which is probably the best FX of all the Hack films as well, and just have to see it to understand how cool it is.

Even with the not-so-grand middles of these films, they are still entertaining and I would definitely recommend you watch them. So go support some underground flick makers and order these films HERE.

No comments: