DBH Review:Carrie(2013)-Eric's Take

By Eric Polk-
Back in November, the progenitor of this fine blog site, Ms. Rhonny Reaper, posted a rather kind review of this second remake of the original 1976 film directed by Brian De Palma. She praised Chloe Grace Moretz for her turn as the telekinetic outcast created from the mind of one Stephen King along with Julianne Moore's portrayal as Margaret White, her overzealous, religious-minded mother. Well, in a true effort to be fair and balanced, and because I had a free PPV movie coupon from my cable service provider, I had to finally watch this one for myself.....Yeah, Rhonda was just too kind.

Don't get me wrong, I believe if you're going to remake a cherished classic(again), you need to put your own stamp on it. It worked for The Fly, Cat People, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. With Carrie 3.0, it is the most faithful adaption of the source material. You see a few subtle nuances not shown back in '76, a little more character development between the secondary players. However, good development is traded for some of the most non-emotive acting I've seen this side of a grade-Z slasher. I mean Julianne Moore at times just seems to be doing this for the paycheck. I don't see where there should be sympathy for her. I do see alot of boredom, however. And I'm sorry(actually I'm not), Moretz doesn't convince me as an outcast

In this movie, Carrie has a little more sass than what Sissy Spacek or Stephen King's incarnation both had. To me, it's way out of her character. Then, finally we come to the big climatic scenes. I was waiting for poor Carrie's skin to turn green accompanied by a bellowing "Carrie smash!" I didn't know she could levitate or do roadwork when it's not brushed upon else where in the film! Finally, the car in the air. I won't go into it here but at this point in the movie, I waved my hands in the air.

So, will you, constant reader and movie lover, like remade Carrie? The answer will fall upon both horror film buff and generational lines. I, for one, thought this movie went from middling to abomination. I'll say read the book and watch the original, but don't take my word for it.

P.S. It's so abysmal, it will become the first induction into the Crazy Fat Ethel II Hall of Shame:Class of 2014