Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It Came from Netflix:The Howling III:The Marsupials(1987)

By Eric Polk-
Before I begin my dissection of this movie,I just want yins to know that this was watched before The Madness. However, it will probably will be accepted for points since I'm posting a review during said contest. Back to this, sometime in our lives, we've had the chance to set down and watching the classic werewolf movie The Howling. It was, without a doubt, a fantastic mixture of gore, scares, and satire.

Needless to say, the success of the original led to a number of sequels, almost all of which I admittedly have yet to see save for this one. The late-80s in America experienced a brief Australian invasion led by the entertaining movie Crocodile Dundee and as a result, it was only a matter of time before The Howling would be touched by the thunder from down under.

Sadly, however, that thunder is more of a pop gun in the case of Howling III:The Marsupials.  A strange race of human-like marsupials appear suddenly in Australia, and an American man finds a female sitting on a park bench. He tells he she'd be perfect for a horror film he's helping to make and that's how they hit it off.

Of course, they fall in love and she becomes pregnant with the late-80s Summer of Lust child. Being a marsupial, she gets the pleasure of placing the little whippersnapper(who resembles a furless polar bear when he's born) in her own neat pouch. Hmmm, I guess Darwin is taking the Fifth on this one?

After the movie shoot, she sadly is hit by a car and winds up in a hospital where the doctors at they realize that there is something very strange about their patients physiology.,, she has striped fur on her back and that aforementioned pouch. Again, Darwin...

Meanwhile a sociologist discovers his father disappeared in the Outback after recording a film of tribal villagers apparently killing a werewolf. This is shown on a silent black and white film. His investigation is short lived, because three of the ladies' sisters (disguised as nuns?) show up and take her back to Flow, the name of their home, after killing several people.

So with her gone, the sociologist and a friend decide to spend the evening watching a visiting ballet troupe practice where, BAZINGA!!!, someone turns into a werewolf. BTW, I'm no zoologist but I don't believe wolves are part of the marsupial family....just a thought.

Following the birth of the Lustchild, the baby daddy discovers where mommy is hiding out and goes to her which brings out the military which brings about a run to the hills. Time passes and the two decide to return to the city because they're missing their Knots Landing reruns(not really but they live for the city anyway). They re assimilate into society and mommy becomes a famous actress. What happens at the end is just...WTF!!!!????

Believe it or not, the first half-hour isn't too terrible. The acting is good but once the ballet rolls in, the movie just falls apart like a turkey in a cooking bag. I mean, bad transformations, bad makeup except for the birth, you just can't suspend your disbelief. And again, this is Howling III:The Marsupials...where in the hell are the killer koala bears and kangaroos???? Oh, this movie deserves to stand a dark alley awaiting Godzilla to take a giant dump on it!!!!

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