By Eric Polk-
As The Madness draws nears, I feel I really need to get in shape. I mean my DBHR blood brother-in-arms, Brandon Sites, has given me a craving for Twinkies thanks to his short film Fat Kid Massacre. I'm pushing 40, I can't be crushing those sweet, creamy things like I was twelve. I need some motivation to stay away from those satanic things. Enter 1987's Aerobicide(Killer Workout).
Two years ago, a young woman named Valerie was burned after entering a tanning salon. Now, her twin sister, Rhonda,(no, not our own Rhonda) runs a local gym where all of a sudden, people are being murdered. The weapon of choice(save for one kill involving a gym weight):A LARGE SAFETY PIN!!!!! Yep! No machete, no chainsaw, not even a knife...A LARGE SAFETY PIN!!!
Naturally, the killings draw the attention of a police detective, who, naturally, investigated Valerie's tragic tanning bed incident two years prior. Meanwhile, there's bonking galore in the locker room so your obligatory slasher T and A is quite satisfied.
There's nothing that really separates this movie from the glut of other slashers that filled our mom and pop video stores back in the day. You have sub par acting, lame choreography in a couple of fight scenes, ok gore but not much else. It's better than a SOV piece of dreck only by a fraction. Watch if you want to feed your obsessive slasher streak.