Friday, March 23, 2012

Eric's Season In Horror Movie Hell:Jaws:The Revenge(1987)

By Eric Polk-
1)to stimulate, excite, or agitate
2)to create interest in by flamboyant or dramatic methods; promote or publicize showily: a promoter who knows how to hype a prizefight.
3)to intensify (advertising, promotion, or publicity) by ingenious or questionable claims, methods, etc. (usually followed by up ).
4)to trick; gull.
With this final sequel to ever so popular Jaws, I take exception to definitions 3 and 4 of the word hype.

I knew what I was getting into when I got this movie off of Netflix. I heard soooooo much smack talked about this movie. One of the worst movies ever made. Not worth the celluloid it's printed on, etc. And to be honest, Jaws:The Revenge is bad......but only when the shark is involved. I mean take away Bruce and you've a decently acted film if nothing else. Michael Caine had just won an Academy Award for Hannah and Her Sisters but then again, Louise Fletcher,too, was an Oscar winner before she was in The Exorcist II now that I think of it.
The story is very, very far-fetched. The film focuses on Ellen Brody and her convictions that a shark is after her family, especially when a great white follows her to The Bahamas. Ok, a shark is chasing her all the way from New York to the The Bahamas.....Come to think of it, how the hell can a great white survive in the ocean in the middle of a northeastern winter? And what the hell is up with this telekinetic crap.  What? Did she received a visit from aliens in between Parts 2 and 4? WTF? Is she Aquawoman? If she was, than she should have said the hell with it and gone to save Superman IV from its ill-fated place in screen lore.
And then...the shark. Do I really need to explain? We all know what happens. We all know that marine biologists were not consulted for this one. There is just sooooo much wrong with this. From the crappy SFX, the shark, the shark, the shark, and THE SHARK!!!!!! And what the hell is up with the backdrop towards the end. I was waiting for Jim Carrey to pop out and say a line from The Truman Show. So upon further review, Jaws:The Revenge did live up to all it's disgustingly bad hype!!!!!

                                                                (Yeah Whatever!)

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