Thursday, January 7, 2016

This is the End...Probably...Who Knows...

As you can clearly see, the blog hasn't been active for a while. It won't be. Let me explain why I've decided to stop.
Late last year, Eric came to me and told me he wanted this year to be the last year of Dollar Bin Horror Radio. I understood his reasoning and agreed. He just released a fucking novel. Something to be proud of! He wants to fully commit to writing and getting a second novel out (in less than six years this time) and I support him 100%! It may not seemed like it as we only did the show once a week, but it took up a lot of time. We talked about themes. We worked on getting guests. We worked harder on the radio show than the blog. Which is one of the reasons why I'm stopping the blog. The radio show became the glue. It was what kept me blogging. Without the anchor, the ship must sail. I've been doing this since I was 18...I'm 26. That's a LONG fucking time for a blog. It's been fun...
And not so fun. Reason #2. I LOVE horror. I wanted to write about it. Talk about it. Become a part of it. I did for a little while and I will never forget that. I got to be an author, a talk show host, a blogger, a film critic...I think I even got a credit or two in a couple films. But along with that, I got hate. I got cyber bullied. I got harassed. Why? Because sometimes, my grammar was shitty. Because some people gotta find something to bitch about...and apparently, I was something for a moment. It's happened on a few occasions. Why? Who the fuck knows. Right now, I don't care. It was a while back in the blog history, but it still pisses me off...
Which gets me to reason #3. I got a rule...If it ain't fun anymore, STOP. It's not fun anymore. I wanted to blog because I loved horror. I wanted to be IN horror in some small way. A while back, Eric (my guardian angle it feels like at times) and another person joined me in posting (I will not say his name because he turned out to be a dick and I would rather forget he exists...but he does and I must acknowledge him somehow...so we'll say "he"). He wanted to change things. He wanted to turn my BLOG into a BUSINESS. I, stupidly, listened. I tried advertising. I did more screeners. I took on more shit that I never bargained for...and I began to hate it. I began to hate the blog. I wanted to have FUN. I wanted to just be a FAN who was in the mix...but once he "left", it got fun again! I felt like I was back in control. Me and Eric did the show AND the blog OUR way...
But now it feels like we've done everything we wanted to do. Talked about everything we wanted to talk about. Horror is AMAZING...but there's just so much one can say without feeling like it's been said before. I LOVE this blog. I LOVE every single person who has ever even visited this blog for a MOMENT!!! It shall remain up as a history of the baddass things me and Eric were able to do and experience in that last 8 years (holy shit...), but don't look for anything new. I highly doubt that will happen. It's ok though. I'm still gonna LOVE THE FUCK out of horror movies. I'm still gonna collect my Living Dead Dolls. Still gonna zombie walk, Still gonna do conventions, still gonna be me...just less internet time and more LIFE time! I love you all (even you fucking bully bitches! LOL)
Thank you to Eric for without you, this blog would have been dead YEARS ago!!!! YOU ARE MY FUCKING HERO AND I LOVE YOU LIKE A FUCKING BROTHER FOREVER!!! And I can't wait to see you this April at Wasteland!!!!! Thank you to ALL THE BADASS READERS!!!! LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
Who knows...maybe I'll wanna blog again...if so, hopefully this will still be here and I can pick it up again...only time will tell. Oh and P.S. This post was NOT grammar checked. Fuck you.
ALSO...I'm still keeping the name Dollar Bin Horror open...maybe I'll make that movie I've always wanted to make...who knows...only the future will know...I hope so.

10 comments:

Eric Polk said...

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me—
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'T is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Rhonda, I don't know where to begin other than you are one of my closest friends bonded by a love of horror.

Working on both this site and podcast for the past five years has been a blast.

cie cheesemeister said...

You certainly did get more than your share of bullying. It saddens me. I love horror too, and certain members of the community are wonderful. Others are real jerks. Sad that it has to be this way.
I keep blogging but I don't do it as much any more, and I honestly don't really seek an audience. Sometimes not having an audience sucks. Other times I honestly prefer it that way.
As for publishing, I won't go the route I did in the past. Right now I'm happy doing flash fictions, which I eventually hope to turn into a novel.
I hope to still see you around the web sometimes. You can always feel free to contact me. chartley65@gmail.com or therealcie@comcast.net

xtopherjacques said...

Well, this blows...but I totally understand. As a longtime lurker fan of what you two have done together, I'd like to congratulate you on following your heart instead of just throwing out work that doesn't feel honest or properly motivated.

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Anonymous said...

Let us know when Eric's book comes out.
Sorry to see you guys stop but I understand. If it's not fun don't do it- good words to follow.
Carmen

Bill Courtney said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill Courtney said...

remember your blog way back when it first began. Remember Horror Blimps or something like that? It came a long way and I have been struggling with making the same type of post you just made, a final one. A eulogy. I have half way done it but back off and promise this or that. While I did not suffer from cyber bullying as you say you did I did suffer from a sense of futility over hard work and no results. No sense of if all coming to anything. I am not ready to put The Uranium Cafe out of its misery but you are dead on about when the fun goes out then what do you do? Can let the blog idle for a time. See how you feel down the road, over and over. Change its appearance and some of its direction. Consider it writing rather than blogging. Shut off your comments section for a while to not be troubled or cajoled. And after all the radio shows you did you should have the skills to run one on your own if you want.

Blogging ain't what it was ten years ago. It is all smart phone sampling now. Bytes of info. Take a hiatus and in any event you achieved something worthy. Good job

Eric Polk said...

You can purchase my debut novel by clicking the link below...http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s_ss_i_0_9?k=eric+polk+a+primitive+glow&sprefix=eric+polk