Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Crazy Fat Ethel II Hall of Shame:Video Nasty Wing

By Eric Polk-
Sup Reaps! Eric here. For those who follow DBH on a regular basis(or not), last year I began a Hall of Shame for the worst of the worst horror movies. The cream of the crap. Movies so bad,it takes decades of therapy to overcome their pungency. Since this year's Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Madness involves the infamous 'video nasty' list, I thought it would only be fitting to induct a few of the clinkers into a brand new wing of my Hall of Shame. To qualify, I only need to have seen.

HOW MUCH SCREAMING CAN YOU DO IN A FILM!!!! Don't watch this thing if you're hungover. It's enough for a person to jump out the window. And.....during the numerous psychotic breakdowns by the main characters, it's like watching an episode of Romper Room on steroids...I see Kenny, I see Janie, I see HELLLLL!!!!!!! This is a European movie that just takes incoherency to the Nth degree. Yikes!

Here's an idea for you, Mr. Bruno Mattei. How about a zombie movie that doesn't incessantly involve stock footage! Chester Novell Turner thinks this idea is stupid. The dialogue is so inane it makes Danielle Steele look like Shakespeare. And did I mention all of the stock footage?

It's original title was called The Forgotten. There's a plenty of reasons why it should be. From it's illogical killings(suitcase-fu?), illogical premise, (Not that I'm against horror movies set in the looney bin, but just answer me this Reaplings, Why did the doctor let the judge have an axe?), and who can forget the overacting by the nympho character? This movie makes Howard the Duck look like The Godfather. 
And there you have it, kids. Three video nasties that are now etched forever into shame!

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