Tuesday, June 18, 2013
DBH Review:Zombie Lake(1981)
By Eric Polk-
Before you read this review(or should I say trashing), get a good long look at the cover. Go ahead, I can wait.
Done? Cool. I asked you to give this cover a meaningful stare because this is pretty much the best thing about this movie(ok, there's full frontal female nudity but you can watch any movie on Cinemax late at night and still get the same effect). What is the deal with bad Zombie Nazi films? The concept, in theory, is great. One of the most reviled groups of the 20th Century, if not THE most reviled group of all-time coming back from the dead? What's not to like about it? Well, there is a little thing called execution of concept. In movies such as Shockwaves and Oasis of the Zombies, the execution is..well...bad! It took until Dead Snow for there to be a great Nazi Zombie film but before then, we got stuck with crap. Zombie Lake is no exception.
It's 1954 and in a small village, somewhere in France, German soldiers, killed and thrown into the lake by the Resistance during WW II, come back to apparently challenge a girls volleyball team to a lethal game of Marco Polo(?). Actually, there's another reason. One that is an embodiment of a plot hole. Go ahead and look at the cover again before I drop the spoiler alert.
The leader of the Nazi squadron fathered a daughter ten years previous. The last time he saw her was when she was a newborn. So, he dies, come backs FROM THE DEAD and recognizes his now ten-year old daughter! BUT HE'S BEEN DEAD. HOW THE FUCK CAN THE ZOMBIE RECOGNIZE HIS DAUGHTER WHEN HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR TEN YEARS! It is NOT explained how he can do that! There is no scene in this movie where he or his fellow solders are engaged in some kind of reincarnation ritual.This is not Star Wars, he is not divined by The Force Hell, even Shocker gave at least a half-assed plausible reason for Horace Pinker's return from The Choir Invisible.
That is just one of the myriad of reasons why this movie is bad. They can show throats being ripped in one scene, but cutaway the next. Who did the editing? Someone with a schizo problem? The shooting? The French village must not have known to shoot them in the head. Ugh, this movie is giving me a headache. At least they had the good sense to use subtitles in this one as opposed to poorly synced dubbing. As I've said before, I love low-budget films but it's no excuse as why it's bad when it's bad and this is AWFUL! Only watch if you'd like to see for yourself.
Posted by Rhonny Reaper