Monday, December 17, 2012

DBH Redbox Theatre:Apollo 18(2011)

By Eric Polk-
Warning:Among some of the references I WILL NOT BE USING in this review are as follows...

Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album
Denny's Moon Over My Hammy
Moon Pies
Former WWE wrestler Max Moon
Former WWE/WCW One Man Gang's tagline
Christopher Cross' "Arthur's Theme"
Dean Martin's "That's Amore"

Anyhoo, last year the collective audience of this film found out why the United States never went back to the moon after 17 missions, and with good reasons that I shall get to in a moment. First, however, this is director Gonazlo Lopez-Gallego's first foray into English language films. For that I should recommend he watch something other than 50s B-movies, found-footage docos,  and Alien homages such as Creature in his next endeavor.

The premise isn't bad... In a Department of Defense document uploaded by an Art Bell-approved website,it 's 1973, the height of the Cold War. The U.S. launches a top secret mission to the moon to place detectors just in case those darn ol' Ruskies wish to launch any ICBMs our way. Welp, during the procedure they encounter a lunar module handled by the boys from the CCCP along with one dead Cosmonaut(wonder he if knew how lucky he was back in the U.S.S., back in the U.S.S.R). Meanwhile, strange noises are occurring outside the ship. As a result of further investigation, a startling discovery is made!

Even though I'd did like the plot, I simply didn't like the execution. It's extremely slow in spots, predictable outcome(would have been much more interesting if the capsule made it back to Earth) and the protagonist is stock at best. I was waiting for one of the rock spiders to lay eggs in the astronaut's stomachs,lol. Acting is decent but the characters just weren't that engaging.

Overall, Apollo 18 plays out as a non-descript 50s sci-fi film wrapped inside a laborious found-footage film. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to jam on some Bill Monroe...

(ok, it's Kurt Russell doing Elvis but unlike bluegrass legend Bill Monroe, he has a horror pedigree :-)

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