Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Madness:Week 2-What Eric Saw

By Eric Polk-
Week 2 of The Madness got me in touch with old Klown faces and new places in outer spaces(sorry for the bad pun)....

Was a rough week as working late each night put a nice, healthy crimp into my movie watching, but I did see a couple of movies I haven't had the chance to view until now.....
Day 8-
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)-
A Mrs. Polk pick! The title says it all....

4 cotton candy pods out of 5. Killer Kult Klassic from my favorite decade!!!

2 base points(90 mins)
1 Bonus pt(Golem...The Klown's popcorn turn into clown snakes)
3 Pts. total

The Simpsons-Treehouse of Horror XXII(2011)
"The Diving Bell and the Butterball, Dial D for Didilly, and In The Na'vi" are your 2011 Halloween offerings from this long-running show.

3 D'Ohs out of 5....Dial D for Didilly is the only real good segment.

0.5 base points(30 mins)
1 bonus point for Monty Burns turning to a 3-eyed Monty Burns on-screen
1 bonus point-Golem(banana peels turn into large avatar-eating banana peels during the In The Na'vi segment)
1.5 pts. total

John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness(1987)
Netflix potluck dishes out a movie I literally hadn't seen in 20 years. When you strip away the religion and science co-op along with Alice Cooper's big scene, you essentially have Demons-lite. In this case, it's an average lite beer.

3 screams out of 5

2 base points(101 minutes)
1 bonus point(the monster disappears into a pool-like mirror)
3 pts. total
Day 9
The Simpsons-Treehouse of Horror XXIII(2012)

This year, we are confronted with "The Greatest Story Ever Hoed, Un-Normal Activity, and Bart and Homer's Excellent Adventure"

2 D'Ohs out of 5...Bart and Homer's Excellent Adventure is the only thing I found mildly interesting in this slow-moving leviathan.

0.5 base points(30 mins)
1 bonus point(Giant Mayans blow up the Earth, thus wiping out all major cities and landmarks)
1 pt. total
Day 10
Night Gallery-The Housekeeper(S1, EP1)
Rod Serling's return to tv opens with an episode in which a young, pre-J.R. Ewing Larry Hagman offers an older lady a chance to switch bodies with his philandering wife.

3.5 stars out of 5-IMO, none of these episode could hold a candle to anything from The Twilight Zone, but this episode wasn't bad.

0.5 base pts.(30 mins)
1 bonus point(scenes from Universal Picture’s Frankenstein involving his monster are interspersed throughout)
1 pt.

House of Dracula(1945)
Both Dracula and The Wolfman visit Dr. Franz Edelman's home in order to cure their various afflictions to expected results

3 pints of blood out of 5. IMO, John Carradine did not make for a very good Bela Lugosi replacement. Lon Chaney is good as always.

ATB for Dracula's appearance.
6 pts.
Day 11
The Simpsons-Treehouse of Horror V(1994)
At the peak of the show's creativity, we are offered The Shinning, Time and Punishment, and Nightmare Cafeteria.

5 D'ohs out of 5-The parody of The Shinning is by far a fantastic segment. Big props to Nightmare Cafeteria as well.

0.5 base points(30 mins)
1 bonus pt.(A vampire and werewolf help assist Homer out of the freezer in The Shinning)
1 bonus pt.(On Screen Transformation- Kodos turns into Sherman from Mr. Peabody and Sherman in Time and Punishment segment)
1.5 pts. total
Day 12
Star Trek:TOS-"Devil in the Dark"(S1, EP 25)

Kirk and Spock beam down to a mining colony on Janus VI to investigate reports of a strange creature haunting the mines
Warp Factor 10 out of 10-Everything good that Star Trek represents is on display in this episode.

1 base point(60 mins)
1 bonus point(the Horta lives underground)
2 pts. total

MST3K-Monster A-Go-Go(1992)
Joel and the Bots must endure a movie in which....THIS NO MONSTER!!!!

10 Riffs out of 10...because there is no such thing as a bad MST3K episode...Look for Gypsy, Crow, and Tom's famous "I don't get you" segment.

MST3K Clause-3 pts.
3 pts. total
Day 13
The Twilight Zone-"Time Enough at Last"(S1, EP 9)
A bookish bank teller is the sole survivor of a nuclear war

5 Dimensions out of 5-My 2nd favorite episode of the series. Time Enough works on so many levels, it's impossible not to like this. I can totally relate to Burgess Meredith's character because I, too, love to read and require prescription wear

0.5 base pts(30 mins)
1 bonus pt.(An H-Bomb wipes out an entire city and therefore, you must assume, the world is destroyed)
1 pt total

The Walking Dead-"Beside the Dying Fire"(S2, EP 13)
Last year's season finale brings about a zombie battle on Herschel's farmhouse and the group questioning Rick's leadership

4 "Where's Rick" out 5-I really disagree with the assessment of some that Season 2 was a bad season. It was great to have pure character conflict as opposed to shooting Walkers every time you turn around. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the fight between the group and Walkers, propping up a rather flaccid reunion scene.

1 base point (60 mins)
1 point total

Creature (1984)
In a familiar movie scenario, a group of American astronauts land on the Saturn moon Titan to discover what happened to the crew of a previous expedition.

4 bloodsuckins' outta 5...One of the things I love about being a horror movie fan is the joy I find when discovering a lesser-known gem. Great gore, great acting, the creature was actually decent along with the parasitic attachments. And, of course, Klaus Kinski-the man who is the European equivalent of JOHN F'N SAXON, imo.

2 base points(90 mins)
1 bonus point(Klaus Kinski turns into a monster on-screen albeit briefly)
3 pts. total

Overall score:27 points
Better have a good turnaround Week 3...Premiers of Walking Dead and American Horror Story:ASYLUM are two good places to start.

Disappointing results but from this minuscule crop of newly seen movies, I can declare the 2nd entrant in my November Fatal Four-Way Grand Match of My Madness is another outer space flick which will give Ellen Ripley a run for her money.

                             It will be an epic battle next month between two outer space monsters  

No comments: