Monday, October 31, 2011

Dollar Bin Horror Review: Halloween III - Season of the Witch (1982)

By Eric Polk and Rhonny Reaper
Eric Here! This is an 80s flashback I just wish would go away along with New Kids on the Block and Yahoo Serious. Happy Halloween Reapling Nation and with our favorite time of year, I am once again inundated with lavish praise of the movie I'm about to tear to pieces from Generation Y and the Millennials.

Yes gang, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I know many of yins love Halloween III. You see it as a take of American consumerism. You find the ever-so-annoying "Silver Shamrock" a fantastic meme. You find Tom Atkins' final line an absolute joy of cheesiness.  Well kids, let me educate you youngins' about why my generation rejected the series initial reboot.

For one, there was no Michael Myers.We were less tolerant of movie tinkering than we are today. For another, it was the 80s. We were living high off the hog as part of the Reaganomics era. We didn't want to see a reflection of 'gimme' and 'I want' staring us in the face. And besides, it was a pretty bad reflection....well...other than the what took place in the test room.

Third thing, we really didn't want to see a horror movie where children were going to be annhilated. There was already a huge paranoia around Halloween due to news reports of douchewads poisoning candy with razor blades, pins, etc. and the plot of this movie I think was just a bit too much.

So having presented my argument, I think someone of the younger generation should without further aideu.....

Rhonny here! Ok so as for the opinions of a "younger generation", I agree with Mr. Polk on a lot of what he said...except for most of the people I know that has seen this film can't stand it almost as much as I do. As Eric so kindly pointed out, there is no Micheal Myers. How you can have a Halloween film without big Mike is beyond me!

The Second this I dislike about the film is the horrid way they distort facts! As you may know, I am a practicing witch and celebrate Samhain...which has NOTHING to do with killing children!!! It's bullshit stories like this that makes people not like Halloween (the holiday) in the first place and gives us real witches a bad name!

The third thing I hate is the "science fiction" theme to the film. Now, I don't hate science fiction at all, but if your gonna call yourself a sequel to two of the greatest slasher films ever, YOU BETTER BE A SLASHER! I don't like people messing with something that is already great, now now and not in the 80's either! STOP IT!

And the final thing is something Eric mentioned already, the fact that children were the target. These weren't some dumbass teens getting caught fucking in the back of a van, these are innocent children who didn't do anything but try to enjoy the best holiday ever! Like Eric said, there is already to many real life horror stories involving children that we don't need to drag it to the big screen.

All in all, If your looking for a great horror film to watch on this great holiday of Halloween, WATCH ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

And from me and Eric, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! 

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