Thursday, September 22, 2011
Dollar Bin Horror Review:Pinocchio's Revenge(1996)
Ok, ok, ok Reaplings. It was the potential camp value. Well that, and the puppet on the box. Made me laugh so hard, I had to watch this. Just goes to show, potential and a dollar will get you a cup o' joe at McD's!
I mean seriously. Could the producers of this film come with a better idea than let's go through a Chucky route to scare folks? I guess not.
Defense attorney Jennifer Garrick believes her client, an accused child murderer on death row, isn't guilty and is hiding the identity of the real killer. After he is executed, she accidentally brings a Pinocchio doll buried with her clients son home with her from the office, and her daughter Zoe mistakes it for a birthday gift.
She starts acting strangely as she develops a relationship with the puppet. Soon, she even believes the doll to be real and talk with it, although this is not out of the ordinary as she held a similar relationship with her other dolls. Trouble takes off when a school mate of Zoe who bullied her is pushed in front of a bus, which Zoe blames on Pinocchio trying to protect her. Soon after, Jennifer's boyfriend David is knocked down the basement stairs while baby sitting Zoe, but is saved by Zoe calling 911. Later, Zoe is at one of her therapy sessions when her Psychiatrist has to leave the room, and Zoe begins talking with Pinocchio about who is to blame for Davids accident, with both placing blame on one another. A surveillance video in the room is watched by the mother and the psychiatrist and it is revealed that Zoe is talking to herself. That night, Pinocchio convinces Zoe to set him free so that he can admit to David that he is to blame for his accident. Zoe makes him promise he will not do anything bad and cuts his strings, at which point Pinocchio hops up declaring his freedom and takes off down the dark streets with Zoe in pursuit. Through a first person perspective, we see an unknown person move through the hospital through crowds of people into Davids room and un plug one of his machines causing him to pass away. Jennifer questions Zoe who claims she got lost as she and Pinocchio try to find the hospital and never went there which causes an angry and confused Jennifer to lock Pinocchio in the trunk of her car. That night, Zoe is left in the care of the babysitter Sophe, when Sophe reminds her that Zoe gave Pinocchio a conscious (a cricket caught earlier in the film).
Zoe runs to her room to check on it and finds it smashed and begins screaming. Sophe runs to make sure she is okay where she is struck by a fire place poker from an unknown assailant until she is dead. Jennifer arrives home that night during a thunderstorm to find the babysitter dead and Zoe standing in a dark hallway quiet. When Jennifer tries to confront Zoe, she runs away in a panic. As Jennifer explores the house, she is struck by the poker and sees her daughter standing above her with it in her hand. Her daughter explains that she just managed to get the poker away from Pinocchio but they must escape quickly, but before Jennifer can inquire further Zoe is gone. Jennifer stands up to see Pinocchio standing in the room, at which point he suddenly turns towards her and attacks her with a knife, following with a chase and battle through the house.
Oh my holy lord. There is nothing, other than the bonding the little girl has with the doll, that makes me want to rewatch this. It fails in every aspect possible in filmmaking(other than it was in focus). Pisspoor acting, pisspoor budget, pisspoor SFX. There is no grain of salt humor in this. NOTHING!!!
So, yes it's not CFE II bad, but it comes pretty damn close.