Wednesday, January 19, 2011

It Came From Netflix: Don't Look in the Attic (1982)

By Eric Polk of The Audio Descent podcast-
Wow! There is no way in Hell I can type this review with a straightface. I  cannot believe that a group of individuals got together sometime in 1981 over in Italy and came up with this visual piece of bowel obstruction. The plot, itself, the idea, isn't bad.

In Turin three relatives,two brothers and their cousin Elisa, (who haven't seen each other since childhood) are brought together after their mother's death. They inherit her house under the condition that they live there together and never divide or sell the property. It's haunted and after many ghostly nightmares and some murders, Elisa finds a diary in the attic, learning that she is the sole survivor of "the seventh damned generation."

Alright so what is bad about....I'd be writing this all night long if I had to really go in depth about the gazillion flaws, but....
1. This movie was edited by someone who has as much talent editing as I do singing(I can't sing).
2. The dubbing...oh lord...Godzilla v. (Pick your favorite opponent) was synced better.
3. When it came to make up, the phrase 'cost effective' was a bad term. Blood caps? WTF? This is a horror movie(allegedly).

There were so many unintentionally funny moments in this film, that I unlocked my inner-Mystery Science Theatre 3000, firing zinger after zinger at the screen. Ex. It's Charlie's Angels go to Italy, tonight on ABC!!! Now don't get me wrong, Reaplings. I love low-budget horror films, seriously I do. But Don't Look in the Attic makes Dr. Giggles look like original Dawn of the Dead!

The good thing is though, now I can focus my attention on different horror films. I enjoyed Don't Go in the House, wanted to cry as I watched Don't Look in the Basement, and purged Don't Look in the Attic from my memory. Thus, it is the end of the Don't-titled horror films!!!!



Rhonny Reaper said...

Wait wait wait... what about Don't Go in the Woods???

Eric Polk said...

What? OMG! R u serious? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!